wound tighter than jokes

Like a rubber nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest. Leisa Rayven, It had seemed like a good idea at the time, a sure-fire way to impress this girl, who was as cute as hell but wound tighter than one of his father's antique clocks. "don't have one penny to rub against another one" This is simply due to the way the search algorithm works. Of income you've lost off acquisitive overtures wound up with. Holy shmoly! The official Urban Dictionary API is used to show the hover-definitions. Sophie realized her fingers were going numb as Clay squeezed tighter and tighter. No guarantees, but maybe, its just about probable, that you will most certainly probably. Wound tighter than a two dollar watch A very high degree of stress. Synonyms for Tightly wound. I tried to ease her by saying: Her mom chimed in: "I get it." Fact: Grasshopper species which change color and behavior at high population densities are called locusts. You don't want me to close your wound for you? Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. While a good number of folks prefer to Mary Connealy, I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. She had made a list of questions, but after asking half of them, she wound up setting them aside and letting instinct guide her. Its Hotter n hells basement on the day of reckonin. Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years. One of the photos wound up in the final print, and the rest is swimsuit history. These indexes are then used to find usage correlations between slang terms. Note that due to the nature of the algorithm, some results returned by your query may only be concepts, ideas or words that are related to "term" (perhaps tenuously). Later criticism, orthodox and heterodox, upon the English deists inclines to charge them with the conception of a divine absentee, who wound up the machine of nature and left it to run untended. That's the beautiful thing, man, we're actually better now than ever, probably more intense now than ever, tighter now than ever. "Thin as piss on a plank" Why do injured cats get to the vet faster than injured dogs? That boy was shaking like a dog shittin hammer handles. "You look like you have been drug through a knot hole ass backwards." Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night" "colder'n a brass monkey's ass" I've also heard this one: He's as tight as the bark on a tree. Holy smoke! That fellers so dumb, he dont know sheep shit from cotton seed! You will recognize many of the examples of clichs below. synonyms. She was so tall she could hunt geese with a rake. "you would give a bull dog's ass the heartburn" Meaning: So obvious it could not be missed. So tight that if you ask him where his toilet is he'll tell you 2nd bottle on the left. Did you hear about the guy that mistook the whiteout bottle for the viagra bottle? Above to snatch wound up happeningthe you wager coins more free hands. "useless as tits on a boar hog" ~Submitted by unknown, Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day. Meaning: This phrase is used when somebody is up to no good and trying to hide it. Cooler than the other side of the pillow. "as loose as a goose" Sign up for our weekly newsletters and get: By signing in, you agree to our Terms and Conditions YES!! Redneck Laughter:very funny you might be a redneck one liners. Go figure. Like a picture paints a thousand words, so do the following Southernisms. Dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. Madder than a one legged woman at the ihop. "That (plan, idea, action, etc) amounts to about as much as a fart in a whirlwind. You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog. "Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west." Jackpot! Sophie sighed with relief and had to control the urge to rub her hand. Your email address will not be published. "Colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska" You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire. I took a shot but only caused a fletch wound. He was so fat it was easier to go over top of him than around him. "Two ax handles wide across the ass"or for REALLY wide, "2 ax handles and a rain barrel" "Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west. https://www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/5vemhh/texas_hunters_who_accidentally_shot_each_other/. He makes a small cry. Youve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. Fact: To avoid tainting the meat, the throat of a pig to be slaughtered is cut by severing the jugular vein. (Or a hot brick). A friend of mine was kicked out of the army because his wound leaked onto the sergeants uniform. So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. Listen to Jimmy Buffetts Pirate Looks at Forty.. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. If you have a favorite redneck saying, redneck quote or funny redneck slang you would like to share please do so with our add a quote form in the right column. the rest will fall into place. Simply use the form below to share your favorite redneck sayings. Youre swinging that driver like a washer woman. Its cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table. Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, Stab wound: A stab wound is a specific form of penetrating trauma to the skin that results from a knife or a similar pointed object. Music Reviews: Inferno by Polyphia released in 2019. "may be small but he's wound tight" "It takes a big boy to whip a little man" "took off like a cat hit in the ass with a boot jack" "face as red as a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time" "not tough enough to kick the shit out of your own pants" "smell bad enough to stink a dog off a gut wagon" "so weak you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot" Why are old peoples feet in such rough shape? Wound up tighter than an 8 day clock t-shirts, stickers and gifts Wound up tighter than an 8 da Bumper Sticker $5.00: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Light T-Shirt $20.99: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Jr. Ringer T-Shirt $22.99: Wound up tighter than an 8 da White T-Shirt $21.99: This joke may contain profanity. Hes so stupid, he couldnt find his ass with both hands. You have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill. wound them off; wound them on; wound them onto; wound them round my finger; wound them round my little finger; wound them round your finger; wound them round your little finger; wound them up into; wound them up into something; wound these off; wound those around; wound those off; wound those on; wound those onto; wound through; wound tight . Relax Your Attention. Fact: The three toughest courtroom judges in 2014 are women. Friday 12th November 2010. Note: Add a big slice of onion, and stay home for the evening. "Thyme heals all wounds". Its hotter than a billygoat with a blowtorch. 189 matching entries found. Or you might try boyfriend or girlfriend to get words that can mean either one of these (e.g. ~Submitted by Alex (jonesboro), If you cant duck it f**k it, if you cant f**k it duck it. Nicki Minaj Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants. "Up and down like a whore on Saturday night." Jan 11 2019. Im so hungry, Id eat the balls off a low flying duck! It was the real life that I had trouble with." "haven't been there for a coon's age" Period. Directions to your house include Turn off the paved road.. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. The tighter you squeeze, the less you have. Jiminy christmas! Note: Two teaspoons of whiskey can cause a 5pound cat to get comatose. "fit as a fiddle" If a frog had wings he wouldnt bump his butt when he hops. So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. Below are just a few redneck sayings and quotes pages created by our guests. He's one of these type A personality guys who's always wound up tighter than a springwears whatever face suits the crowd. Meaning: just okay, could be good enough for state work, or how someone is feeling. "Those two are closer than bark on a tree.". She was . Dear god can we get a courtesy flush pls Drew another puzzle for the weekend. Holy shit! Fact: The accidental invention of corn flakes goes back to 1894 when a group of Seventhday Adventists developed a new food to adhere to their vegetarian diet. "Slipperier than snot on a glass doorknob" Note: Bantams are about 1/4 the size of a regular chicken and are bred for cockfighting. Note Researchers from Britain and the US have succeeded in growing teeth in a chicken. deeply wounded. "can't put a square peg in a round hole" If Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound? "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel." She was talking fast at the end. This company wound up paying many different fees as a result of improper operating practices and lawsuits where they were found liable. Youve ever hit a deer with your cardeliberately. "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off." Whatever makes you tick, I guess. Hey Doctor, can I administer my own anaesthetic?. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~Submitted by Angela (Irvine, Ky ), You might be a redneck if your weekly mass is the prayer before the national anthem at the PBR events. I think hes one fry short of a Happy Meal. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. What happened to your arm, Greg? The term first appeared in the 1870s. Shes purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Why, its so cold herewe got dogs stuck to fire hydrants all over town. Then Dorothy wound up Tik-tok and he danced a jig to amuse the company, after which the Yellow Hen related some of her adventures with the Nome King in the Land of Ev. Wound tighter than a three-day clock. The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. Click here for more information. Wife: sideways look He thinks hes the best thing since sliced bread. Id rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a 5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than. Were closer than two roaches on a bacon bit. "Short arms and long pockets" is the only one I can think of. If his brains were dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose. It'll take your mind off of it. Why did priests heal wounds before doctors? I wish I had appreciated my youth - I should have worn tighter clothing when I could have! Im so poor if I stepped on a worn out dime Id bet you a nickle I could tell you whether its heads or tails. About men."When I was hard I was soft and when I was soft I was hard." Meaning: Im being ignored. The clock is wound up at the great crises of history, but proceeds to run down, and does so even more rapidly in Protestantism than in Catholicism. "you can't get blood out of a turnip" I'm wound tighter than Jane Fonda's latest facelift, goddammit. Author: Roseanne Barr. Im happier than a punk in a pickle patch. I grew up in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love. That girls jeans are tight enough to see Lincoln smiling on the penny in her pocket. "can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" Sophie dabbed at his oozing wound. "not tough enough to kick the shit out of your own pants" Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. "like a fart in a glove" Why dont you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut! She chose "Tailor Made" and the two wound up engaged. That made my nuts draw up so tight you couldnt reach them with knittin needles. It will always get better. Note: Red head assumes that neither of the parents had that gene. 4 other terms for tightly wound- words and phrases with similar meaning. Im having more fun than a tornado in a trailer park. The roots sigh and release their hold on my waist and the wound in my side is healed. Interrelated with this is the presence of a significant life imbalance. Aint no point in beatin a dead horsecourse, cant hurt none either. Note: Tick and flea dirt is feces, which appears on your pet in small, dark clumps. Explaining the basics of DNA and Genetics Human DNA contains 3 billion nucleotides and is wound up into a tight double helix spiral. Meaning he is very frugal. "lazier than Hall's dog" She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab. If you dont use your head, you might as well have two asses.

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